I had my immunology and parasitology exam on Wednesday. The night before I studied til some ungodly hour of the morning and then had a mini freak out so I played a silly little internet game and before I knew it the clock announced it was almost 4am. Cue my second mini spaz attack after which I went to bed for a whole hour of sleep. Unfortunately it was then that my crazy crack smoking brain decided to have a life crisis moment. For those of you who don't know what a life crisis moment is, it's when you suddenly think to yourself; What am I doing with my life? Where am I going? Do I want to be going there? If I don't want this then what the hell do I want? And the questions keep on flowing. I lay in bed tossing and turning and punching my pillow and rearranging the blankets and all the while I kept interupting my brain to ask; "Seriously, do we have to do this now?!" In the end I'm not sure if I actually slept or not but before I knew my alarm was telling me that it was 5am and it was time to get the hell up and study some more. So I did and in the end the exam wasn't as bad as I expected it to be though in saying that it was in no way good. Afterwards I went home and lay down for a nap at 2pm that lasted until 10am then next this morning. I didn't resolve my crisis at all so I've still got a bunch of unanswered questions.

Do I want to be at Uni?

Considering the likelyhood that I'll fail yet another unit (or 2) is it worth staying at uni?

If I defered would I come back?

If I didn't come back would I one day regret it?

Why can't I ever just stop being lazy and stupid and study more?

Maybe I'm just not uni material, maybe I'm just not smart enough?

Is not being smart enough a bad thing?

How the hell do I explain this to my judgemental unapproving father whose validation I desparately seek?

Whats wrong with me?

Why can't I ever get anything right?

Will I ever get something right?