Hold my hand and we'll wander in my mind together

Well its certainly been a long time since I posted. I thought I'd better pop in just in case you guys were about to legally declare me dead and divide up my assets. Oh, whilst I'm on that topic, if I die then I want Liz to have my underwear. I'm feeling slightly loopy from a cocktail of cold and flu tablets, nasal decongestants and the dregs of this morning's hangover. I watched Bridget Jone's Diary tonight and I've decided that putting aside the fact that it's a terrible artistic interpretation of Jane Austen's masterpiece, I hate it. It gives overweight, socially awkward women all of the world a sense of false hope that they aren't doomed to spend the rest of comfort eaten lives taking care of a dozen cats in an apartment that smells of animal excrement. It is irresponsible and just plain cruel. I think what I'm really trying to say here is that after eating an incredibly digusting and unsatisfying meal of MacDonalds, I'm feeling lonely and actutely aware of the size of my arse.