I gave up meat for lent. Not because I'm particularly religious (something I feel very guilty about) but because I tend to give something up each year as a habit. I was sitting in my first ethics class for the semester and the teacher was talking about how we will all have differing views of acceptable animal use. One of the aims of this class is to clarify our beliefs and draw our own personal lines whilst. So I began thinking about the use of animals. Some things I were simple. I disagree with the use of animals for sporting enjoyment, for example, greyhound and horse racing. Others were tricky, such as the use of animals in research. Eventually I began to mull over the idea of giving up meat for lent. I truly abhor intensive farming practices, they sicken me. But I love meat. So I decided that for 46 days I won't eat meat. I'm still eating and wearing animal products such as eggs, dairy and leather. I know these things are also a result of intensive farming but I think to exclude them would be to aim too high too fast.
So here I am. Day 7 without meat. It was really hard for the first few days. I resented not being able to eat the regular things that I was used to. Then came my first test. I went to the pub with friends for dinner and the only meat free meal was wedges with dips. It really didn't appeal to me, I just wanted to have the bloody lamb burger dammit. My friends weren't really helpful either. They joked that God couldn't see into pubs therefore any meat consumed in there didn't count. In all honesty, I came very close to giving in. What stopped me in the end was that I knew that even one little slip up would mean the end. The moment I ate meat I would stop really trying and overtime my slip ups would become more frequent until I gave up entirely. So I resisted and it sucked. I know its seems as if there should be a happy ending and I should say how they were actually tasty and I felt really good but that's not the case. I was resentful and annoyed that I couldn't eat what I wanted.
I still have those feelings but I'm pleased to say that they're getting less frequent. Last night my family had beef stroganof for dinner (something I love) but I made myself some very tasty bean burritos and I didn't even have the slightest urge to eat their meal.
I secretly would actually like to continue to not eat meat after lent but I'm worried I'll slip. I don't want to tell my friends about it because I would hate for them to see me fail. So for now I just have one goal. To make it to Easter Sunday without eating meat. For now, I won't worry about what will happen after that.
Wish me luck
So my shrink says I should keep a diary of my moods to make it easier to assess things overall. So this is me attempting to do it.
Today I'm pretty good. Chilled out but also a bit lazy. I slept from 6pm through last night and got up at 6am. Got a lot of crap done before I had to leave. I had a really good long weekend down the coast. The weather was beautiful and my friends are fantastic. I have to go to work this afternoon. I'm nervous, its my first shift that I won't be following someone around and its a nursing shift. I worry that I'll have no idea what I'm doing. I need to get cracking and get some assignments started before they pile up and I panic. I think it might be best to start some 'to do' lists so I can sort out what needs doing in life. I'll do that now. I'll go home for lunch and get things sorted in my head and go from there.
